Lupian
by The HP and Twilight lover
Summary: When Sirius ponders his sexuality, he finds no currently existing category in which he fits... So what do one do? RLSB slash of course, but mostly mentions of it.


This piece is just a little something I came up with as my mind was buzzing with inspiration for things that were meant to be in the chapter-fic I am currently working on. But, as things developed... I pretty soon saw that there was no way it fitted in there... anywhere. So, I put it up here just to take my mind of things a bit. And I know it's crappy, but it was kind of... interesting to write... and if _one_ person enjoys this even for a second, it's worth it, right? :)

Disclaimer: Ah, I've already written one today! Just go with it, you know who I am and it's not J K!

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**Lupian**

On usual afternoons after class, Peter would be off to the kitchens, and James would claim he had all his homework done to be able to kidnap his best friend and go out to practice out on the quidditch pitch. Said best friend would then complain about being dragged off from the reading Remus, and Remus would smile, close his book and follow along just to watch his to friends to make Sirius happy.

But apparently this was no normal afternoon at all, but barely cleverly masked as one; so cleverly that James hadn't been able to see through it at first. But all of a sudden, Sirius had risen from his seat in the couch next to Remus before James had even had time to open his mouth, and had willingly left his other friend and dragged James out of there without a word of explanation.

James was indeed very confused. The only thing normal with this afternoon had apparently been that Peter was still off to the kitchens.

"Prongs, there's this thing I feel like I need to tell you…" Sirius started as soon as they'd gotten outside the common room, right there in the corridor.

"Well, go ahead then; spit it out, it's just the two of us here", James said with a shrug, even if he was in fact very curious – this wasn't exactly normal behaviour of Sirius', heading off to have a private talk with him only just like that – and he couldn't imagine what he was about to see.

"As you might have noticed I've been kind of off lately…" the dog said, but in fact James hadn't noticed a thing – other than that Sirius had taken up a habit of staying very close to them at all times and nowadays had a tendency to slip away into his own world at times… but really, it was today that was strangest by far.

"Yeah…?" he said anyway, needing to go along with it to get to hear it more.

"It's because I secretly fancy someone." There. Straight on the spot. Maybe Sirius hadn't changed after all… wait, _what_ did he say? "Someone quite unlike the others you've seen me date."

"Unlike?" James caught up as soon as he'd pulled himself together. Sure, Sirius would fancy someone on a daily stage… or at least be willing to snog people… but _never_ secretly! Quite the contrary actually; Sirius _loved_ an audience. "As in… a slytherin?"

"Nope, it's a gryffindor alright", Sirius assured. "But it's someone that's not… well…"

"Not as old as you?" James suggested. "Not as curvy or as outgoing?"

"Not _female_, Prongs", Sirius cut off quite bluntly and inpatient. There was something he recognised again; Sirius had never been the patient type. But, wait, whaat…? Ah, fuck it.

"_Oh_… So what are you saying…?" What _was_ he saying? "That you're not exactly _straight_ anymore?"

"I may not be, but don't you worry; I can still be straight with you, obviously." Oh, ha ha. Incredibly amusing. Really. Nope. James simply needed to be just as dry.

"No Padfoot, no you can't… Seeing as we're both guys…"

"Oh, bugger off Prongs!" Sirius exclaimed. James got into his 'thinking-mood'. Once again, something that was incredibly unusual and surprising even to him.

"So… you're gay?" he asked, in hopes of clearing the foggy confusion.

"Not really."

Fog still there. Growing thicker, actually.

"What? You just said you aren't straight-"

"Straight is when a bloke fancies _chicks_, and I'm done with 'em."

"Okay, so you've got to be gay then", James stated, desperate to sense logic around the corner right now.

"Well, gay is when a bloke fancies other blokes…" Sirius started, but he was interrupted.

"This might surprise you Pads, but I actually _do_ know these terms already so an explanation from you is to be regarded as highly unnecessary-"

"I don't", Sirius cut him off again. "Like blokes, I mean. Not that way, I don't", he said. Simply. Thank Merlin. … Too bad that still didn't clear the fog.

"… But…"

"So, really, it would be wrong to consider me gay."

What the hell was this? Sirius Black, of all people, would start to live in _celibate_? Nope, not a chance.

"But you said you fancied someone." James clung onto every possible detail of the conversation. "Someone non-female." _Please_, say something sensible!

"Yep, it's a guy alright."

"Well then, congratulations: you are unofficially gay." James said, almost hissing warningly as Sirius prepared to argue against him.

"But it's not just _any_ guy!" Sirius protested fiercely. "I don't like _guys_, okay; I just happen to fancy this _particular_ guy very much." The fog started to clear up.

"Okay, I give in!" James groaned, having clearly run out of patience by now. "Then, if I might ask: what the fuck are you?"

Sirius calmed down immediately. "Well, my friend, I do believe I am lupian."

There was a silence. A deep, deep silence. And, to James' big frustration and horror, the fog returned unbelievingly fast and started to stagnate into on thick opaque mass.

"… You're what?" he asked, not sure he'd heard it right.

"I'm lupian."

Okay… While James contemplated whether he should actually bother to ask, he suddenly saw how Remus peaked out of the portrait hole with a confused look, slowly making his way towards them both. Thank _Merlin_! Calm, reasonable Logic himself was coming to save the day!

"And what in Merlins balls' name is '_lupian'_?" James continued in his last effort to get something sensible out of his best mate before leaving it to Remus.

"That I'll inform you of, my precious Prongsie-boy: Being lupian is when one exclusively fancies one Remus Lupin."

Wow. The first thing Sirius had explained simply and outright – and yet the whole situation was complicated to begin with; this he was sure of as he saw how even _Remus'_ eyes went wide when he heard- _Oh_ _dear_!

"... Uh..." James tried to say something, but couldn't translate the incoherent sentences in his mind to actual words.

Sirius stared at his grimacing expression and clearly got that something was wrong. James glanced above his shoulder before staring back at him. Sirius drew his conclusions.

"... He's standing right behind me, isn't he?"

"Mhm", James nodded, still deprived of the gift of verbal speech.

Sirius mirrored his horrified expression for an instant, but he quickly pulled himself together and whirled around to face his now not-so-secret love.

"... Moony!" he smiled, but couldn't quite tear the strain away from his face. "I'm guessing, judging from James' horror-struck expression, that you heard that whole last part… am I right?"

Remus, still wide eyed and gaping, could do nothing but nod in confirmation, even though it really wasn't needed.

Sirius was nonplussed. And when Sirius was nonplussed, he hurriedly blurted out random things to cover it up.

"Alright then... Surprise!" he exclaimed with a stretch smile and a _slight_ lack of his regular enthusiasm.

Remus was yet to find words. So was James. Hence, the awkward silence.

"... Well, guess this was bound to come up at some time or another anyway..." Sirius mumbled just to have something to say. "And you're _sure_ you heard it all right?"

Padfoot was actually kind of surprised himself. He wasn't used with delayed reactions; he always received instant ones, either positive or negative ones that could be carried along through anything, from words to lips to fists.

"... I-I'd think so, but... Care to repeat it for me?" Remus said somewhat shyly, though now a small smile of hope lit up his eyes.

This of course made Sirius beam with delight. "Do you really need that, Moonshine?" he asked doubtfully, with a teasing voice. "I do believe you get the picture anyway, but I guess we ought to be absolutely positive..."

That was when James decided that this day couldn't become much weirder in any way. Sirius had thought himself to be lupian. And, judging by the enthusiasm he showed as he proceeded to snog Messer Lupin up the wall, James was now pretty sure that he'd been correct.


End file.
